I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
