we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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