I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
