I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Boobs are out for the taking
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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