We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
