THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
