My boss' voice literally gives me gas
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
