If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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