I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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