I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
