We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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