all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
