How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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