i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
