the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
