Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
