Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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