the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
