I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
