No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
