Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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