we're blogging at a bar
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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