I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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