Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
