My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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