Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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