Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
