There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
