i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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