Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
