If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
