I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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