Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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