im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
