I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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