I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Boobs are out for the taking
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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