I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
