Sry I called you an 8
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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