just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
