Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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