i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
