she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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