so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
