I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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