I just cut my nipple shaving
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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