I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
