Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I heard we made out
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
