i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
