Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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