What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
